Zen and the art of...

It has been almost a year since I last updated this blog and instead of attempting to summarize the past
 9 months or so, I am merely going to jump right back into things. You, avid reader(s), may be lost for a bit as a life time has come and gone in my absence. But have no fear! The confusion will not last.

I am suprisingly alright with turning 27. When I turned 25, I had a mini break down about getting older and had issues with the realization that I am a full fledged adult. At that time, I didn't feel like I had accomplished anything that I had planned out for myself previously. In the past, I had issues:

I have always felt that I am older than my age.
I have always wondered what it would be like to be an adult.
I have always admired those sophisticated, confident, funny adult people.
I have always felt like I was waiting to have life happen to me.

But at 27, I feel like I am one of those people that I admired and wanted to become. For the first time in my life I feel my age. I woke up one day with confidence and poise. I will admit that I am very surprised at the suddenness of this state of zen. I feel successful, I am happy with my position at work and in life, I have come so far since living out of a suitcase upon first moving to Bakersfield. I live in a beautiful place, I have wonderful friends, and I am finally feeling content with my looks and body. Its very odd, this sudden acceptance, but I am going to roll with it.

Happy Monday.

I spent the last weekend up at my sister's house in Bakersfield, helping her with a church production of "All in a Week". She called me about a week ago looking to rent some lights.. and that being what I do for a living, I brought her some, set them up, and ran the board. It turned out well, and I didn't spontaneously burst into flames for being a heathen, so good times! I really like most of the people I met that go to her church. It was like being part of a big family. The best part was I got to see my sister! I really miss being close to her like that. And Jeny... "I threw it on the ground!"

I've recently found the hilarity that is lolcats. And Engrish.com. If you have seen them, then there is no need for further explanation. If not, go look. I couldn't describe them and do it justice.

I've been sober all month, and it has been an interesting experiment in self control. The good news is that I have impeccable self control. The bad news is I have been practicing self-imposed sobriety. I am looking forward to this weekend... Alkaline Trio, wine, and a good friend to share them with. That's right snuckas. I am going to see my favorite band for the second time ever... yeah. I'm stoked.

I'm not feeling well today though. Been queasy since I woke up and I am not sure why. I think it might have something to do with the fact that I haven't been sleeping well the past few nights. It might have something to do with the fact that I had two cups of coffee this morning (and a bunch of M&M's). I think I am going to go home and go to sleep after work today...I don't think I'll be up to much of a dinner as is anyway.

I can't believe the year is already of a quarter of the way spent. Geez. Where have I been?

Time marches on, taking us all prisoners.

I am not quite sure if I am just behind the times, or what, but I feel like everyone I grew up with is growing up faster then me. I am starting to feel like the only person from my group of friends who isn't engaged, married, or has kids (or any combination of the above). I don't know what to think about that. On one hand I am like, "When's it going to be *my* turn?" BUT on the other hand I want to point and laugh and say "Haha! I still know the taste of freedom and it tastes GOOOOD!" (all while doing a victory dance of epic proportions).

Updates (as I know) of my friends growing up:

Bound (and gagged):
Jeny Rendt-Scott: Married, no kids.
Heather Wilson: Married, no kids.
Rachel Emmer: Getting hitched this weekend, no kids.
Melanie Evans: Married, two kids.
April Richards: Married, one kid, kid on the way.
Ciji Wilson: Married, three kids.
Rachel Coffman: Married, one kid.
Carla Clinton: Married, two kids, kid on the way.
Tim Greer: Married, kid on the way.
Richard Denherder: One kid.
Ryan Revis: Married, no kids.
Michael Pedrin: Engaged, no kids.

Freedom Fighters:
Cameron Boyce, active military
Neil Richmond, doing his own thing in Bako
Natalie Lewis, dating a guy, working in the bay area

MIA:
Rose Cartwright

I'll update this more as I find out.

words and pixels

I am entirely getting addicted to video games again. I guess a boozeless life is left with a gaping hole in the entertainment area that needs to be filled with something. Some people pick God, some people pick love, I "picked" delving into the digital world. I used to be completely put off by the whole idea of console gaming, having been an avid PC gamer (Lineage 2 woo!), but after playing a few games I think I'm a convert. Here's a rundown:

Last night, after a St. Paddy's day dinner at a friend's house, we played this crazy game on the Wii system called Rayman Raving Rabbids and it was freakin hilarious! It is a collection of several mini games that pit you against your friends (who are all crazy looking bunny avatars). One of these games has you mimicking the dance moves shown on screen (think DDR but includes disco moves and slapping your own ass). When you are winning, your avatar does even more hilarious dance moves. You also get to race your friends and throw stuff at them, fight off zombie bunnies with plungers, and fight with bouncy balls. It is entirely random, fraught full of hilarity.

After playing a full round of about ten games, I headed home in order to find some parking somewhat near my house... and to get in another half hour or so of Assassin's Crack 2 (I mean Creed, whoops). After having to re-do the first race a million times, I am getting quite good at the controls... for a novice. I really like the graphics and the story (so far) as well as the different types of tasks/challenges they provide. And it's just damn fun to run around on rooftops.

Playing these games makes me miss the heyday of Lineage. I wish more of my friends still played to provide me with some incentive to play more... as is, I am thinking about de-activating my account indefinitely. Ah the ebbs and flows of online gaming...

Anyway. To summarize: me + games - booze = good times. That's all you really need to take away from this experience.

March Madness

I used to update my blog pretty regularly, back when I had a Live Journal. Now that I've switched blogs (and grown up a bit), I find that I don't know what to share anymore. I've made some changes in my life recently. I've embraced my single-ness. I've vied to lose the weight I gained in the micro depression preceding the single-ness embracement. I've jumped head first onto the wagon. I've even committed myself to buying and successful completing a 2000 piece jigsaw puzzle (huzzah!). I've even hiked every weekend since I decided to get into better shape. I have been feeling very accomplished...but I still feel like something is missing in my life.


I am really looking forward to baseball season starting up.
I am really looking forward to the Bad Religion and Alkaline Trio concerts that are coming up.
I am really looking forward to a trip to Europe this winter, despite how cold it will most likely be.
I am really looking forward to getting my credit cards paid off so that I can start saving money instead of spending it.
I am really looking forward to the chance to read more of my book.
I am really looking forward to the sunshine returning!
I am really looking forward to the next puzzle I will put together. It should be A Starry Night and yes, I like puzzles that much.
I am really looking forward to mastering my XBox skills on Assassin's Creed 2 over the next few months.
I am really looking forward to tomorrow's origami page on my one-a-day desk calendar. I think it's going to be a snake (today was a piano).


Its the little things in life that make it spectacular, right?

The Grinch Stole Thanksgiving?

Normally, I am not Ms. Holly Jolly Christmas-Chanukkah-Kwanzaa-Holiday Spirit, nor am I Ms. Grinchy-Bah-Humbug, mainly because I am not really into those sorts of Holidays on a religious basis. I do get joy in watching people enjoying themselves during such familial times. I do like singing along to some holiday tunes at times. BUT seriously!? Holiday music before Halloween is even past? I expect it after Thanksgiving during the Black Friday rushes and the inevitable countdown as the big X-day approaches...but pre-turkey day is a bit much for me. Especially ALL DAY, EVERYDAY. Maybe that's the reason I got sick this week and had to spend two whole days incapacitated: too much holiday spirit, too soon. My poor immune system couldn't handle the overload of cheer and good tidings.

=)

Ah, the ever controversial topic of abortion, how I have missed thee...

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/10/27/abortion.war/index.html

In this article, the Pro-Life guy asks the reporter "What part of wanting to save a baby's life is so bad that it makes people hate me?"

I think it might have something to do about him wanting to take away a woman's choice. Or that he puts the "rights" of an unborn child over those of an established human being. Or that his supporters go to fanatical extremes, sometimes even as far as to murder those that oppose their ideas (hello hypocrisy!).

This just got me riled up a little.

There is nothing more aggravating to me than bad drivers... Not just those "Sunday drivers" or "LA drivers" (yes they are bad drivers too) but those that really do not pay attention to anything around them. Those that drive like they are the only ones on the road... are the only ones on the road that MATTER. Ugh.

Some of the worst:

I hate when I am trying to merge onto a freeway in an exit only lane and the guy behind me (or the guy behind him) decides he is in too much of a hurry to wait his turn and moves into the lane I am trying to merge into only to match my speed right next to me so that I cannot move over, ignoring the blinker I have had on for the past 2 minutes.

Or.

When the guy in the turn only lane previously mentioned is trying to get into my lane by speeding up to squeeze in the little space that exists between me and the semi in front of me, causing me to have to hit the brakes, instead of staying at his current speed or slowing down a bit to go behind me (where it's entirely empty).

Or.

When the guy next to me decides to change lanes all of a sudden because he fancies being in my lane in front of me but is doing 15 miles an hour less.

Or.

The lady sitting in the right hand turn lane who will not, for the life of her, make a right hand turn until the green light says she can go... even though there is NO OTHER TRAFFIC blocking her way (and no signs forbidding it).

Or.

Those bastards who, upon arriving at someone's house to pick them up, honks their horn repeatedly instead of either getting out and knocking on the door or using their cell phone to alert their friend of their arrival.

Yep.

Or.

Nineteen Thirty Three?

http://www.cnn.com/2009/US/07/22/wisconsin.book.row/index.html?iref=newssearch

There is something fundamentally wrong with people who feel the need to burn books just because they contain ideas or creeds that differ from their own. In this particular case, there are no half-crazed mobs hell bent on destroying works of literature, but rather God-fearing Christians petitioning a library system to corral and label works of literature they categorize as "unfit for the minds of youth". They propose that works with explicit content (i.e. vulgar sexual acts, homosexuality, rape, or brutality) be moved to the adult section, have the same type of Parental Advisory "explicit content" label as CDs, but still be available for check out by anyone. Its only a few radicals in this group that want to go to the extreme of death by fire for such books.

I feel the petitioning group has a very fair request. It appeals to both sides of the debate: it allows parents of those children to monitor their exposure to such materials, while still allowing access to any other reader who doesn't have such scruples. Its fair, but it won't work.

By labeling and corralling these pieces of literature into their own section, this group would be creating an expressway for their kids to obtain them. It would be the equivalent of putting up a flashing neon arrow that screams "Pay attention to me!" or "Free Candy". There would still be nothing stopping these kids from checking these books out (or reading them in the library), but instead an increase in the childrens' desires to see what the fuss is all about.

Ever hear of the forbidden fruit? How did that story pan out?


Kudos to all of those who believe in Jesus and God and the Bible and live your lives along that righteous path. That is your choice (and ultimately, you may be right!). It is your right to resist against all of those that you feel oppose your beliefs and any attempts to lure you away from your path. It is not your right to impose your beliefs on others. Afterall, isn't that what your Lord and Saviour preached?

Luke 6:31 "Do to others as you would have them do to you."

Romans 13:8 "Owe nothing to anyone except to love one another; for he who loves his neighbor has fulfilled the law."

Galations 5:14 "For the whole Law is fulfilled in one word, in the statement, YOU SHALL LOVE YOUR NEIGHBOR AS YOURSELF.' "

Leviticus 19:18: "You shall not take vengeance, nor bear any grudge against the sons of your people, but you shall love your neighbor as yourself; I am the LORD."

Corinthians 10:31-32 "Whether therefore ye eat, or drink, or whatsoever ye do, do all to the glory of God. Give none offence, neither to the Jews, nor to the Gentiles, nor to the church of God"

Matthew 22:21 "They said to Him, 'Caesar's.' Then He said to them, 'Then render to Caesar the things that are Caesar's; and to God the things that are God's.'"

Philippians 4:5 "Let your forbearance be known unto all men. The Lord is at hand."

It's called hypocrisy, and its an ugly, ugly monster.

There's no place like home, there's no place like home...

The past week has held nothing but change for me. A new place, a return to no dating status, and a new outlook on myself. I have continued to amaze myself at how well I am handling these changes and keep waiting for it to all come crashing down.

I am both anxious and excited to be moving into my new place. Currently, I am about a quarter of the way done and am hoping after tonight that I will be more than halfway. I can't wait to be entirely unpacked and spending time making the place a home, but not looking forward to the possibility of loneliness while living on my own... that's what friends are for though, right?

Karma, you suck.

After a year of tedious research and careful deliberation I finally bought my very first brand new car. As you can imagine I have been stoked on it... I have been babying it and giving everything a wide berth.

All for nothing!

Some bastard scratched (and subsequently dented) my BRAND NEW car and didn't even have the decency to leave me an apology note! I mean... I don't even have the license plates yet! Its THAT new!

The part that sucks about this the most: About a year/year and a half ago I accidentally put a scratch in one of our company vehicles and copped to it right away. I ended up having to pay for the damage out of my own pocket, which I gladly did (after all, I did the damage). Same thing happens to me, and I have to pay for it... even though I DIDN'T DO THE DAMAGE!!! Ohhhhh I am so not happy at the moment. Stupid Karma.

I should be able to fix it pretty easily (but costly)... but I'm really not happy to have to do so (in case you couldn't tell). Meh!


...Oh yeah, last week I bought a new car.

Frivolity, thy name is vacation.

So much has happened in the past month that I do not know where to begin...

Christmas this year was much better than last year. I went over to my uncle's house where we watched movies all day while I cooked a very yummy dinner (which also provided us lunch for the next week or so). We decided to make a musical day of it and I subjected my uncle to Sweeney Todd, Momma Mia and Rocky Horror Picture Show (my cousin didn't quite get it, methinks).

For New Years, I took just about two weeks off of work and gallivanted across the Northern Californian countryside ~ skiing and drinking and spending not enough time with my family. I wish I had more pictures, but I couldn't ski with my camera and all other times I was too busy that I just plain forgot.

I am now a quarter of a century old. I really do not know how I feel about this. On one hand I am excited about how far I have come in life, but on the other hand I feel like I have missed a lot of opportunities. I think this is best displayed by an exchange I had with someone at work:

Him: "You know 25 isn't that old."
Me: "I know its not that old but its the oldest I have ever been."


The new picture is one of two that I painted over this last weekend. Adam was in Washington DC and I had a lot of free time on my hands.

That's the nutshell of what has been going on.

Turn the other cheek?

I am frustrated by the ideological trends that I have been seeing when it comes to Americans... Two people I know, we will call Jared and George for anonymity sake, were discussing the ever so controversial topic of gay marriage in front of me. The discourse upset me quite a bit more than I feel like it should have, hence the need to vent.

To set the stage, George is a liberal who believes the gay population should be able to marry and be equally represented by the law. Jared, however, is very right wing and believes that the institution of marriage should be limited to (only) a man and a woman. He has failed to voice his opinion as to whether or not they should have the same tax benefits and representation as a married couple.

Back to the conversation. Jared and George were delivering their usual banter about who is right and who is moral, etc. and it usually doesn't bother me. I just vaguely listen but one of them said something that caused me to feel the need to chime in with "Well, I just believe in tolerating other people's beliefs and lifestyles, even if I disagree with them."

What really riled me up was Jared's response: "I tolerate them too, but its not like I am going to have them over to watch my kids."

George: "Why?"

Jared: "Because we don't want them teaching our kids things we don't believe in."

Me: "....."

This is what got me started. George's repsonse to my question (I asked later in confidentiality) "Does that mean gay people should be banned from being teachers? Or social workers?"

"Yep.. that's why his kids are in a private charter school... I was talking to his kids and they said that Obama is bad cause he will help the gays... "

That is where I got pissed. First, how can someone truthfully teach a naive child that gay people and their supporters are bad? Second, Obama is not going to help the gays. He is against gay marriage. He believes that marriage should be between a man and a woman. (Don't believe me? Read it: http://www.cnn.com/ELECTION/2008/issues/issues.samesexmarriage.html ) He DOES, however, believe that gay civil unions should be recognized on par with marriages when it comes to legal representation and tax benefits. If Obama believes the same fundamental ideas as Jared, how then is he bad? Unless of course, equal rights for humans is bad.

UGH! As a christian, aren't you supposed to teach tolerance not bigotry? Do they even read the Bible for themselves, or just trust someone else's interpretations? Obviously this guy got his news from an inaccurate source! It just frustrates me how some people can be. Yay, white man's burden?

I am out of steam (for now).

Week of Twilight

I keep trying to put my "Twilight" experience into words, but it keeps failing to come out right. How can I describe my weeklong whirlwind affair with Bella, Edward, Jacob, and the rest of the players in the "Twilight" universe? Somehow I managed to read four Novels, one manuscript, and see one movie within the span of seven days, after which I am left feeling strangely unsatisfied. Let me start by telling how this whole thing began...

Having read every book I own at least twice, some more like six times (thank you Harry Potter), I decided that I needed to find a new book series to occupy my time. I went to Target (they seem to have everything now) and scoped out their book selection. They had a wide selection of books and novels, including one with a black cover contrasted with a set of white hands offering the reader a bright red apple. Intrigued, I read the back cover to analyze whether or not this would be my next literary conquest. The synopsis was full of Vampires and love... I ended up leaving the store with "I am America and So Can You" by Stephen Colbert.

Weeks later, I kept hearing more and more about "Twilight" and how it was a page turner. So one night when Adam and I went to visit some friends of ours and I found a copy of it on the coffee table, my curiosity took over. I had to know what all the hype was about. I figured I would read the first few chapters to see if it would be worthwhile to read while Adam and his friends were watching snowboarding videos and my friend took off to buy cigarettes. The next thing I knew, it was one in the morning and I have finished half of the book. Unfortunately, it was time to go home and the pesky bookmark two chapters ahead of me prohibited me from taking the book with me. Reluctantly, I took my leave without the book. That night I had vivid dreams about how the book might end...

The next day I went to Sea World with Adam and did all of my chores and laundry, all the while thinking about how the book would end. Finally, using my need to buy trash bags as an excuse I made my way over to Target yet again and bee-lined for the book section (conveniently located all the way in the back corner of the store). I bought all four novels, only in stock in hardback - ugh!, and hurried home.

Needless to say I finished the first book that night... and started the second. The next night I started the third... and the fourth the night after. I even read "Midnight Sun" online during my lunch breaks.

Three days later, I saw the movie. As expected, it was nothing like the "Twilight" universe inside my imagination, but passable. There was a lot about the movie I did not like... and for the time being I will pass on sharing them. Next update will be a break down on each of the titles: my rants, my raves, my most and least faves...

Now I just need another new book series to pass my time...

Make the noise! I live for the noise!

As Eddie Izzard said in "Dress to Kill" -

"I had to go to a Chiropractor in New York. They're different to osteopaths because of the spelling. And, er... They're both very powerful figureson the Scrabble board. "Chiropractor. Yeah, chiropractor. 93 letters. Chiropractor."

And they...they crack your bones. They take X-rays but it's pointless. Cos whatever's wrong -"I'm gonna crack your bones."

Diphtheria. I'm gonna crack your bones.
Your head's come off. I'm gonna crack your bones.
lt looks like your mother..."

When they crack your bones it goes, "Urgh!" and then, "Arrhhh." but not sort of, "Ahhh..."but sort of, "Arrrgh!" All the way up your spine. "Crack your bones."

Sometimes it doesn't crack,it just goes... [silence]

Then they pull a mallet from their belt and try to make the noise. "Make the noise, I live for the noise."

They do your head as well, get it into a nice position. You're thinking, "No, I don't think it's supposed to go round that far! Thank you very much. Thank you."

You trust them. They could havetheir fingers in your nostrils, one foot on the backof your underpants and they're pushing your spine awaywith a broom.

"What's this one all about?"
"I have no idea."
Wha-boom! (Sings fanfare)
"Wherever he falls,there shall he be buried."


Needless to say, today was my very first visit to the Chiropractor. I hurt my back doing some lifting on Friday and felt the need to go in and have it checked out. Turns out I am just fine, just way out of alignment. My doctor was very nice and gave me a re-alignment, some advice on dealing with the pain I am inevitably going to feel (and do currently!), as well as pointers on how to keep myself from getting misaligned in the future (say goodbye to sleeping on my stomach!).

The scariest part was the neck. He settled my neck into what I assumed was the neck adjustment position and then told me to wiggle my left foot or my right thumb then CRACK! neck's done!

When he first finished, my back and neck felt quite good... all warm and nice. Not now. Now it feels like I need to crack my back and neck. I have to keep myself from trying to pop them though... otherwise I might as well of not gone. I think all the toxins stored in my joints has been loosened too, because I feel a little sick.

And to think, I need to go back on Wednesday to maintain it. =)

Overall, not a bad experience...

Quickie.

As I was driving home yesterday, I pulled up next to a ... let's describe it was "well loved" ... car with a homemade bumper sticker in the window that caught my eye:

Alternate Sources of Energy:
John McCain - Natural Gas
Barack Obama - Hot Air

Nothing like an Equal Opportunity Critic to brighten your day.

"Just me"

I pull my sunglasses off of my eyes as the darkness of the foyer overtakes me. Clutched under my arm is my well worn copy of Harry Potter and the Deathy Hallows; its bright orange cover clashing spectacularly with my tacky lime green faux-snake skin purse that I love so very-very much (a la Target, fine french garments).

The hostess asks me, as she reaches for the menus, "Only you?"

"Just me."

She takes me to a small booth, where I deposit myself (and my eye catching ensemble of accessories) and begin to look over the lunch specials. Nothing really catches my eye, but I am not here for the food anyway. I quickly settle on the Fish tacos and an Iced Tea in order to get to the main reason I am here. I swap my Hollywood-inspired-half-your-face-covering sunglasses for my more Librarianesque Oakleys and pull out my trusty tome, opening it to resume my escape to a much more magical universe.

I smile at myself for being such a nerd, having read this book and each of its sisters in the series for the fourth or fifth time over. Inside, I laugh at my geekdom... afterall here I am, a 24 year old woman, spending my lunch break pouring over what was meant to be a childrens' novel, finding clues to support my claim that J.K Rowling ended the Harry Potter saga in the only way possible.

You would be surprised with just how skillfully and thoroughly Rowling completed the Harry Potter universe...

***

So I have started this blog, mainly because I wanted to comment on my wonderful sister's blog. As I signed up, I figured I might as well utilize the opportunity to start writing again. Who knows where this will take me... but look for more to come. =)